Mom: “How was your
rst day of school?”
Me: “Good! But (with horror) Johnny did NOT sit on the line at circle
time”
-Me (at age 3)
It’s been a while since I wrote!
For the past 6 months I have been deep in learning mode and my newsletters
moved to the back burner.
But I’m back, and over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing what I’ve been up to
and the many (many) lessons I’ve gleaned from this time.
Lesson 1 : I can give myself permission
I’ve always been a “good girl”. A model student, often teachers pet. I raised my
hand when no one else would. I strove to follow the directions correctly and
thoroughly. I was an excellent rule follower (I always sat on the line!).
This year, I’m meditating and listening to the calm words of the teacher and as
they share the guidance for this weeks meditation, I’m struck by the continued
assurance that if the instructions aren’t what I need for today, to ask myself what
I do need, and go with that.
What? My brain is muddled. I don’t have to do what the teacher tells me to do?
Since the start of 2022, I’ve been training to become a mindful self-compassion
teacher. An ironically rigorous and time intensive venture that has forced me to
grow in so many ways.
One way I’ve grown is by giving myself permission to check in with myself
regularly and then allow myself to do what feels most kind.
While at
rst I felt anxious doing this, it has become extremely liberating.
Most of us are run by unconscious habits picked up from our childhood families,
culture, and education and don’t even know that we are following some
prescription of, “The way things have to be done.”
Here is one small example:
A woman in the online exercise program I use and love, wrote a post in the
forum about how liberating it was to see the main teacher record videos in her
jeans. It gave her the permission she needed to work out without changing into
“work out” clothes. And de
nitely helped her exercise more often.
Really we don’t have to follow all the things we “think we must or should”. And
most of the time, not following them doesn’t have the catastrophic
consequences that our minds tell us they would.
In fact, often giving ourselves permission to do something di
erent o
ers us
more nourishment and peace.
Here are a few ways I am giving myself permission that have made my life
better.
I’m giving myself permission to:
Slow down on days I don’t feel my best (without as much guilt).
Choose the meditation that I want to do each morning (instead of the one I
think I “should”).
Savor and enjoy food that I
nd delicious (even if it isn’t the healthiest).
Request time alone when I’m reaching my limit on interaction (honoring my
introvert nature).
Give myself the things I need in my business to feel centered and ful
lled,
which this year looked like:
Taking an intensive training
Allowing myself to get enveloped in a new community
Opening myself up to mentorship and feedback
Taking a break from writing newsletter emails
And now permission to write again (even after such a long break!)
This week, where could you give yourself permission to do the kind thing for
yourself?
Maybe to start, it is permission to pause and see what the kind thing is.
Then, it might be permission to trust yourself that you know what is kind.
Finally, permission to try it out and see how it goes.
Remember it doesn’t have to be big, and while it can feel like a small rebellion
inside, it is one small step in reclaiming your authentic power over your own life
and choices.
Sending you permission this week to do the kind thing.
Looking forward to sharing more soon,
❤
Jennifer