Jennifer's Blog

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WHEN TO CALL ON OUTSIDE SUPPORT
Posted on September 22, 2021

You set amazing habit goals and never fully achieve them

You feel anxious a lot of the time

You are harder on yourself than you are on anyone around you...

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BEING HUMAN AND IMPERFECT
Posted on December 11, 2018

You set amazing habit goals and never fully achieve them

You feel anxious a lot of the time

You are harder on yourself than you are on anyone around you...

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NOT WANTING TO BE NEEDY
Posted on Month day, year

As you know, this work has been particularly empowering to me over the past several years and I believe strongly that it can over needed support to those of us who are…people pleasers, over achievers, caretakers, and those of us that are much kinder to others than we are to ourselves.

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SABOTAGING YOUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS...(IT'S THE USUAL SUSPECTS)
Posted on Month day, year

How are you feeling at the start of this new year? Where are you with setting intentions, goals, habits for this fresh start?

It is almost cliché to speak about how most of us fail at following through with our New Year’s resolutions! However, it is inevitable that many or most of us who set resolutions (or goals, intentions) will end up floundering at some point early on and don’t fully follow through.

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THE NOT SO SECRET THING THAT MAKES EVERYTHING EASIER
Posted on Month day, year

You know something is important when you keep encountering it in every book you read!

Over the past month, I’ve been surprised (and not) at how in almost every book I’ve read, the topic of self-compassion arises as an important skill to possess.

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WALKING YOUR WHY INSPIRATION FROM AMERICA'S GOT TALENT
Posted on Month day, year

All week I’ve been thinking what I would do if I had received her diagnosis.

Would I choose to follow what is important to me? Would I be courageous enough to keep living even as I am dying?

This is at the heart of valued living.

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WHAT IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU BECOME YOUR OWN BFF
Posted on Month day, year

Perhaps with the past year of pandemic, social unrest, and uncertainty this pattern has become even more obvious and it is clear that being hard on yourself is only adding to your pain.

This is a TRAGEDY.

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BOUNDARIES
Posted on Month day, year

This week I’ve been exploring why I set (or don’t set) boundaries and it is both alarming and fascinating how much I struggle with this in some areas.

The biggest reason that most people, including myself, don’t set boundaries is  because of a fear of discomfort.

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HOW TO ACCEPT ANYTHING
Posted on Month day, year

Resistance only increases suffering. It can bring relief in the short-term but never for the long-haul because life will keep bringing things to our doorstep that we didn’t ask for.

Plus, in all my resistance to what I receive, I miss out on any surprise or joy in the act of receiving.

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THE #1 SKILL EVERY WOMAN NEEDS TO TAKE CHARGE OF HER LIFE
Posted on October 10, 2019

The past few weeks I’ve felt ungrounded, scattered, off.

I’ve been resisting all my regular habits.  I’ve got a case of the “don’t wanna’s”.

I don’t want to meditate, or exercise, or eat healthy, or even give myself self-compassion...

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A NEW KIND OF RESOLUTION FOR THIS YEAR
Posted on January 1, 2021

“I’m 95 years old.  Happy and content sitting on my front porch in my favorite rocking chair staring out into a sea of evergreen trees. The sun is just peeking up over the mountains and the birds are beginning their morning chorus. A dog happily sits by my feet and a dear cat is purring on my lap. I slowly rock and think about my life. What has brought me joy? What has brought me peace? What am I so grateful I put time and attention toward? What regrets linger?”

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OFFERING YOU A GOLD STAR
Posted on Month day, year

Has anyone told you lately that you are doing a good job? Have you told yourself that? 

In my coaching, I emphasize giving ourselves credit for all the good work that we do each day.

This is an important thing to do when we are trying to live healthy lives full of compassion and motivation.

However, it is one of the hardest things for many high-achieving women to do.

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SELF-COMPASSION DOESN'T HELP US FEEL BETTER
Posted on Month day, year

Self-compassion doesn’t make you feel better? What!?

Why would we work so hard to be kind to ourselves if it doesn’t help? The truth is that it is nuanced…

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THE PERILS OF PEOPLE PLEASING
Posted on Month day, year

This time of year is hard for the people pleasers.

If you are struggling right now with others expectations and the many demands on your time and your life, please pause and give yourself a deep breath.

You are not alone!

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LET IT BE EASY (LIKE SLIPPING INTO A WARM BATH)
Posted on Month day, year

Striving is often unnecessary and can slow my success I didn’t know how to let it be easy for most of my life.

I’m an achiever and have embraced the idea of working hard for my success. I have all sorts of imbibed beliefs about hard work and value.

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WHY EMOTIONS AREN'T THE ENEMY
Posted on Month day, year

As human beings we experience more negative emotions than positive ones. 

Researchers are not set on the exact number of basic emotions but whomever you ask the majority of them are what we would label as negative.

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CALLING OUT ALL THE HIGH-ACHIEVERS AND PERFECTIONISTS
Posted on Month day, year

The in-shape health guru who has boundless energy to do all the things in her life without slowing down. Someone so in touch with her feelings that she never gets angry at her partner (family, friends, kids, etc) again.

The energy of these fantasies of perfection can drive us forward initially, but what I’ve found is that they always leave me sitting in the dust of my wildest dreams, disappointed and wondering what is wrong with me.

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Photo by Anastase Maragos on Unsplash
LOSING AT THE GAME OF DARTS
Posted on December 11, 2018

I am an excellent dart player! I mean really top notch, My aim for the heart of things is spot on and I can unleash darts without thinking too hard about it.

Unfortunately I always lose at this game of darts!

Most of us do...

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WE CAN'T KON MARI OURSELVES
Posted on Month day, year

I’ve always been tidy. Growing up sharing a room with my sister you could see this visibly. My side (of the room/dresser/bookshelf) would be clean, simple, and orderly and my sister’s…less so.

Today, this continues.

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REGRET FREE LIVING
Posted on Month day, year

We all know this. That much of what we pursue and do in life might not be what we “ultimately” want to pursue and do.

However, we are great story tellers and share stories like “The time isn’t right,” “I have to do this because…,” “I have limited options,” “What if I make the wrong choices and end up even further away?”

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THE IMPORTANCE OF PRESENCE
Posted on Month day, year

Isn’t life hard sometimes?

Recently I’ve had a lot on my plate, and I’ve noticed my desire to disconnect as a way to buffer myself against any stress I’ve been feeling.

This is such a natural and very human thing to do when faced with difficulties.

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THE PRACTICALITIES OF EMOTIONAL SELF-CARE
Posted on Month day, year

How many of us know how to allow our feelings? Allow ourselves to have them, experience them, let them exist in our bodies without manipulation?

I know I didn’t for many years and I still work on it today.

As a sensitive, deeply feeling child born to parents who weren’t particularly skilled at being emotionally open, I learned a lot of ways to judge, push away, resist what I was feeling.

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WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM TURNING OFF MY PHONE
Posted on Month day, year

This was incredibly enlightening and humbling.

For the first 12 hours, I felt pretty lost and was painfully aware of how often I turn to my phone to distract me from any negative feelings. Emotions that ranged from the low level feeling of boredom to strong feelings of anxiety or worry.

In the last half, I experienced more feelings of freedom and noticed a change in how grounded I felt. There was slightly more space in between my awareness of my feelings and the choice to dip into them with a mindful breath.

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WHY I DECIDED THAT I DIDN'T NEED TO LOVE MYSELF BEFORE LOVING OTHERS
Posted on Month day, year

Over the years I’ve started a collection all the good things that come with practicing self-compassion. Some of these are personal changes and other are well researched benefits that I can also attest to experiencing in my own life and witnessing in the lives of my clients.

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GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION
Posted on Month day, year

Most of us are run by unconscious habits picked up from our childhood families, culture, and education and don’t even know that we are following some prescription of, “The way things have to be done.”

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