“The most precious gift we can o
er others is our presence. When
mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like
owers.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh
And…
When we embrace ourselves with mindfulness and presence, we
have the capacity to bloom (even in rocky soil).
JE
Isn’t life hard sometimes?
Recently I’ve had a lot on my plate, and I’ve noticed my desire to disconnect as a
way to bu
er myself against any stress I’ve been feeling.
This is such a natural and very human thing to do when faced with di
culties.
We move away from pain and towards pleasure.
And sometimes this is a necessary part of making it through life. Sometimes we
need to disconnect (for a while) in order to make it through a moment to get to
the other side.
However, this can become a habit that is detrimental to us being able to access
the one thing that can support us in times of di
culty. When we disconnect from
being present to our lives and all that is contained within, we lose access to the
power of presence which is the doorway to compassion.
I’ve been reading The Age of Overwhelm by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky and this
excerpt struck me as I was contemplating the importance of presence.
“Another signi
cant consequence of being disconnected is that we won’t be able to
bring our quality of presence to bear. This matters in the tiny, daily moments, as
well as rare, epic times. Time and again in life we learn that even when we can’t
a
ect the outcome of a given situation, our presence can mean the di
erence
between creating harm or escalating su
ering or slightly shifting or absolutely
transforming whatever is unfolding. Sometimes our ability to be present is literally,
all we have.”
She goes on to write about an experience that we might all have had (or will
have) when an event could not be changed (it was what it was) and the other
person involved was able to be present with us as we grappled with the
situation. They didn’t do anything to “make it better” but simply were present
with us.
“That person’s ability to calmly bear witness had an enormous impact in terms of
minimizing su
ering and shifting an experience that could have caused harm to
one of hardship instead.”
An experience that could have caused harm to one of hardship instead.
Presence doesn’t take away the pain inherent in life but it can mitigate the harm
that might be added to an already di
cult situation.
There is a lot going on in the world and I’m sure a lot going on in your lives! It
might feel easier to disconnect rather than stay present with what is, especially
as we move into the paradoxically busy months ahead, full of seasonal changes
that invite us to rest and social pressures that invite us to ramp up.
My invitation to you and to myself over the next few weeks is to ponder where
we can add some drops of loving, connected, presence to our lives? Where can
we courageously show up with presence in order to minimize our su
ering (and
the su
ering of others) and stay connected to both the beauty and the struggle
inherent in life?
Below is a simple practice that can support you in returning to presence in joyful
moments as well as those of hardship.
With Presence,
❤
Jennifer
Loving, Connected, Presence
1244 S Flower Circle, Lakewood
CO 80232 United States
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-A moment for ourselves-
Placing a hand over your heart (or some other soothing,
supportive place)
Ask,
“What am I feeling, right now?”
“Where am I feeling it?
Where is it physically felt in your body?
Taking a deep breath, see if you can expand the space around
the feeling (either physically or mentally).
Taking another breath, can you soften the space around the
feeling by 1%?
Pondering what would be wonderful to hear right now? Are
there any words of comfort you can offer yourself?
“I’m here for you”
“I see you”
“This is hard, right now”
Giving these words to yourself, allowing them to sink in.
Taking another deep breath, letting the words fall away.
Staying connected to your breath and your body and your
experience for three more breaths. See if you can allow
yourself to feel what you feel and be just like you are, just for
these few moments.
When you are ready, returning to your day, noticing any shifts
to your experience.