“I surrendered myself to the cages of others’ expectations,
cultural mandates and institutional allegiances. Until I buried
who I was in order to become what I should be. I lost myself
when I learned how to please.”
― Glennon Doyle, Untamed
This time of year is hard for the people pleasers.
If you are struggling right now with others expectations and the many demands
on your time and your life, please pause and give yourself a deep breath.
You are not alone!
When the list grows too long for any human to tackle and it feels like everything
else is more important than your own self-care, I want to remind you that
patterns of people pleasing are there because at one point it seemed like the
best way to ensure your own safety and belonging.
However, I can guarantee that right now they are no longer serving your highest
good. They aren’t even serving the highest good of those around you.
I invite you this month to re
ect on any ways that you might put yourself at the
bottom of the list (or maybe you don’t even make it on the list).
And then if it feels safe to do so, asking yourself two questions with kindness and
curiosity:
“How is it serving me to put myself last and ensure that others are pleased
with me?”
“How is it NOT serving me and those around me when I try to please
others and put myself last?
This month I’m sharing a guest post that my friend and colleague Heidi Esther
wrote for all the people pleasers out there. I hope her real and humorous
approach resonates with those of you that struggle with people pleasing and
grants you more grace to love yourself, just as you are. She is an expert in this
area and o
ers all of us great strategies to start healing ourselves from the
destructive patterns that people pleasing can generate.
Enjoy!
❤
Jennifer